Video Game Doom Levels Up in June, Gloom Steady

Video game industry doom levels rose in June amid reports of a luck luster E3 showcase, absolutely zero new game announcements and Apple’s WWDC conference which analysts agree was the best thing to happen to technology since electricity.

Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo all failed to announce any new games or devices at the Electronic Entertainment Expo, leading to many to fear for the future of the industry.

“You can’t just show up to E3 and show games from three years ago and expect people to buy them again,” Freeman Research analyst Mike Packer told Aussie-Gamer. “This is what will cause the decline of sales across the entire industry in 2012 and 2013.”

Video game publishers chose to show updated versions of their previously released games, but with more blood and violence than their original releases. Nintendo’s Ninja Gaiden 3: Razor’s Edge, for example, contains up to 200% more blood than it’s original version, and Batman Arkham City: Armoured Edition gives players a new “attack” and more weapons that young children use to kill people in the game.

Apple’s new Macbook Pro with Retina Display, however, will allow family friendly games to finally be released – a first for video games and their 30 year history.

“Game violence has the potential to raise a new generation of terrorists,” Packer said. “Thankfully Apple is making this revolutionary new product to help stop this from happening.”

Video game fans, who Packer describes as being “brain washed” by greedy corportations, remain optimistic that their favorite publishers will release a games by Christmas, keeping general gloom levels steady compared to last month.

Chad Berry is Aussie-Gamer’s hard hitting journalist who tackles the real issues. You can learn more about Chad on this page, and get in touch with him through Twitter

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  • Smash Bros Gamer

    Please tell me this is a joke…

    “Apple’s new Macbook Pro with Retina Display, however, will allow family
    friendly games to finally be released – a first for video games and
    their 30 year history.”

    I stopped taking this seriously at that line. I most certainly hope you were being sarcastic when you wrote that.

    • AussieGamer

      Chad Berry is always serious.

      Chad Berry.

      • Smash Bros Gamer

        …What were you thinking when you wrote this? Was this a jab at some of the analysts, or do you actually think that there were no “family friendly” games in the last 30 years?

        If you were joking I apologise (It’s hard to tell sarcasm through text), but this is… I can’t even explain it. What. The. Heck.

        • AussieGamer

          Haha “Tabloid Tuesday” is a parody series you’ll see on Aussie-Gamer each week where we poke fun at the doom and gloom media articles that flow around the internet. More info here: http://aussie-gamer.com/abou/

          We’re also giving away a Zelda: Skyward Sword baseball cap over on our Facebook page in celebration of this fun new feature series! Check that out here: https://www.facebook.com/AussieGamr/posts/260919380674810

          • Smash Bros Gamer

            But…But it’s Friday…

            Well, thanks for the clarification. Although, maybe you should have “Tabloid Tuesday” in the title so as to not confuse any readers. I thought you were serious, and ended up making myself look like a fool.

          • Smash Bros Gamer

            But…But it’s Friday…

            Well, thanks for the clarification. Although, maybe you should have “Tabloid Tuesday” in the title so as to not confuse any readers. I thought you were serious, and ended up making myself look like a fool.

          • AussieGamer

            We have “Tabloid Tuesday” above the title ^__^ – the new feature was announced on our Facebook page. It’ll alllll make sense after a week or two :D

  • Nivlak Bifreið

    DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    No wait… Apple will save us all, with Retina Displays. (by the way “Mike Packer” HAHA)

    • AussieGamer

      This is exactly like that time when Walkman was eating babies.

      Chad Berry.